A different side of Patricia

Over the next week or so, I kept in touch with Patricia over the telephone. For various reasons owing to our separate commitments, we were unable to see one another again over that time. The conversations were relatively superficial, exchanging pleasantries and sharing a little of our working days. However, one telephone call we had over that time sticks out in my mind as being significant.

Before, when I had rung Patricia or she had rung me, our conversations were somewhat formal. She was polite, reserved and looked to me to lead the conversation. This time, I happened to call her whilst she was doing some reading for her teaching. I suggested she might not want me to interrupt and she was adamant that she was ready for a break as the reading was boring her to tears. She seemed to be talking faster than usual and the reserve in the past was well hidden from view.

“I don’t mind if you interrupt me, Max. A girl rather enjoys distractions of a certain kind...”

“Is that right?” I enquired? “What sort of distractions are you referring to...?”

She was showing a rather playful, cheeky side and I liked it.

“The sort of distraction where a man can show a girl a good time, I suppose...”

“Describe a “good time”.

“Ohhh... well...that could be any number of things really...

I played along for a few more light hearted exchanges and got the distinct impression that she would have liked me to make more of a move; to ratchet things up a notch. I felt tingly at the prospect of all the fun I could have getting to know Patricia’s mind. One of the loveliest things of getting to know a new girl is that when you have established an environment of trust and safety, a girl will tell you everything. If a man gets lucky he finds that a girl has the most lewd of fantasies; that her wants are vast and her imagination vivid.

I think it was this thought and this moment that really had me commit to Patricia and an ongoing relationship with her. I like a girl with a good mind but a girl with a dirty mind is gold.

Setting the tone

I arrived at the address Patricia gave me right on time. Although Patricia and I barely knew one another at that point, I already knew I wanted to taste more of her. I like a girl to adapt; to do things how I like them done. In order to have Patricia cognisant of time and punctuality I needed to set an example for her. A man doesn’t need to bark orders at a girl to have what he wants. He can influence her in subtle ways, too.

In fact, Patricia did not open the door to the little house but rather a girl about her age. She was a very friendly sort of girl. “You must be Max!” she said, and led me inside. “Patricia will be with you in a moment.”

Moments later, Patricia arrived from her bedroom and welcomed me; introduced me to Susan. Patricia told me that she and Susan were sharing the little house along with another girl who was currently on holiday in New York. It helped them to make ends meet, she said, since they were both fresh out of college in their first jobs. This made perfect sense, of course and it was pleasing to see that the two girls seemed to be house proud. It was a humble home but not without appeal and I noticed the roses in the vase on the side table. I am very partial to fresh flowers in a home.

We were soon on our way to the restaurant where I had made a reservation for us. I ordered us both the nicoise salad and a glass of white wine. I think that Patricia was rather surprised when I did not ask her what she would like to eat, but she needed to get used to that right away, I decided. She is a most attractive girl but I felt that she would be even lovelier once she had lost a few pounds. I wanted to see a bit more definition at her waist line but that was a longer term project; far too early to introduce her to a corset! I did, however, already have in mind to supervise her food choices somewhat.

Over the salad, she asked about me. I had told her at the dinner party that I had taken over the family farm but she asked more about that. I answered her in general terms. In fact, the farm is a rather big enterprise and I have a number of people working for me. There have been lean times along the way for my family, but it is a successful operation now and quite lucrative.

I enquired of her first job and learned that she was an English teacher at the high school; her first assignment since she had left college. It made sense. Patricia is a well spoken girl with a good vocabulary. She enjoyed the work very much she said and the interaction with the students, but felt very unsure of herself when it came to ‘discipline’. She suspected that she was much too easy with them and apparently her supervisor felt the same way, encouraging her to toughen up her approach. I made a mental note to see what I could do for her in this area. It was clearly bothering her.

We both enjoyed the movie, though at this point I honestly cannot remember what we saw. As we left the movie theatre I put my arm around her to direct her through the crowd and once we were out of the theatre I took her hand in mine.

When I drove her home she asked if I would like to come in for coffee but I reminded her that it was a Sunday evening and time for her to get to bed for the week ahead.

“Yes, I suppose I should...”

“Off to bed with you!” I replied.

It was at this moment that I first saw the feisty, rebellious side of Patricia. Out of nowhere, she riled.

“I am not a child, Max!” she said, with a tone of defiance.

“No, but you are a young working woman who needs a good night’s sleep,” I said, calmly.

This seemed to settle her somewhat and she simply said, “Yes”.

“Good night, Patricia.”

I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. That was enough for now.

“Good night, Max,” she responded.

I had the sense that things were going well.

Patiently waiting

I am willing to share that I have had a number of failed relationships with women in my life. It all begins well enough but over time they begin to lose interest in me, considering me too “demanding”. I’ve learned one thing about women and that is that it pays to have them make the first step. I suppose it could be said that Patricia made the first step already. She did approach me at the party. I would have loved to call her over the next week or two. God knows I began to dial her number enough times! But, something inside me told me that I needed to wait. I needed to wait for her.

As the days turned into weeks, I began to wonder if there was a mutual attraction or if it was just in my imagination. Patricia made no effort to contact me whatsoever in spite of the fact that she was not attached to anyone. Dean told me that. At the end of the month I received an invitation to dinner; a friend of Dean who was also at his engagement party. There was no need to bring a girl, he suggested. Dianne, his wife, had sorted out the guest list and had the right numbers for the table now. In any case, Dean and his fiancé Judy would be there. I secretly hoped that I wouldn’t be seated next to some girl who was going to talk my ear off.

I arrived on time. I like to run to time. Dianne and Bill made me feel very welcome. The other couple was nice enough and it is always good to share time with Dean. Around twenty minutes later, as we were sharing a second cocktail awaiting the missing person, the doorbell rang and soon thereafter Dianne and Patricia entered the room chatting away merrily. It turns out they were old school friends who still kept in close touch. It was a delightful surprise. I rather hoped that the evening had been set up this way in order to meet me again. We’ll never know. Women are as thick as thieves. But, as it turns out Patricia was seated next to me throughout the dinner so I think it is a fair assumption it was not just coincidence.

I was polite, of course but not overly effusive. We chatted away pleasantly. Privately, I revelled in her company. I just didn't want to appear too keen. Patricia is not a loud girl. She doesn’t need to be the centre of attention. Yet, she does have opinions and she was not afraid to share some of them with her dinner guests. I must say she was an excellent listener. She is the sort of girl that whomever she is speaking to, she gives them her full attention. I like that in a girl. She seemed quietly confident of herself at the same time as I detected some vulnerability. When she took the wine glass to her mouth one time, her top lip quivered; as if she had just lost her inner confidence for a moment; as if it were just a veneer.

When we were saying our goodbyes, all of us, I walked out with Patricia and saw her to her car. I was sorely tempted to hand her my card. I almost did but held back at the last moment. Patience... patience.

“Max, I was thinking of seeing a movie this weekend – perhaps Sunday evening. Would you care to join me?” she asked rather shyly just before she turned to get into the car.

“That’s a nice idea,” I said; I hope not too enthusiastically. “It has been a while since I have seen a movie.”

She smiled. She seemed pleased.

“I could meet you there...” she began.

“No! I will pick you up at your home. Write me down the address.”

She found a pen and paper in her bag and wrote down the details.

“Thank you. Is it an 8.00 showing?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. I will collect you at 6.30. We’ll have a drink and a light meal first. Don’t be late this time, Patricia. I don’t approve of girls who are not punctual.”

She looked at me a bit aghast. I don’t think anyone had talked to her like that before, given the expression on her face. But, she regained her balance and replied,

“I will be ready, Max.”

And, so she was.

Meeting Patricia

Whilst I am inclined to introspection, my behaviour at a party has been known to be raucous. I enjoy telling a tale and have been known to stretch the truth in an effort to amuse those listening. On the night I met Patricia I was in good form and was surrounded by a captivated audience finding mirth in my reverie. As it happened, a waiter carrying a jug of iced water made contact with my outstretched arms whilst I was in the process of making my point. The cold water spilled upon the two women who were standing closest to me at which point the looks they gave me indicated clearly what a clumsy oaf they thought me to be. Undeterred, I apologized for the incident, sent them in the direction of the bathroom for some towels and continued with my tale.

Later in the evening as I helped myself to the dessert buffet, Patricia approached me and said she had enjoyed listening to my story. Frankly, I had not noticed her before this moment but now that I was looking at her, I found myself captivated by her rather mischievous smile.

“Those girls were not happy with you,” she said.

“They’ll live,” I responded.

I saw Dean, a good friend approaching us.

“Max, I see that you have already met Patricia. Patricia West; Max Parker.”
We both smiled as people do when they have already met and are introduced formally.

“Patricia has just come back from London...”

“Have you?” I asked. “My mother is from London and I’ve spent quite a bit of time there. My last years of study at school were in England.”

“That explains your lovely accent,” she said.

I was beginning to warm to her with every passing moment.

“And, I love the U.K.,” she added.

I smiled and put a small slice of the lemon cheesecake on a plate beside a handful of strawberries and handed it to her.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t!

“I want it all eaten up,” I replied.

I saw a look of pleasant surprise come over the girl. She seemed to enjoy the command.

“Thank you,” she said.

Need I even add that I had secured her telephone number from Dean before I left that party?

The Beginning

It is my good fortune to have met Patricia a few months ago at the engagement party of a mutual friend. I was introduced to her by my friend, Dean, who knew that my mother was English. Patricia, as it turns out had spent the summer in London and travelling around Scotland, and he thought we might enjoy one another’s company.

I cannot honestly say that I would have picked her out of the crowd. Patricia is pretty all right, with a lovely smile and dark brown eyes that a man could get lost in, but she was not overtly sexually dressed. Rather, she had a ‘wholesomeness’ about her; as if she belonged to a bygone era. There was no way of knowing, to my eye then anyway, that she hungered for control; lived to be swept up into a man’s arms and instructed; corrected.

I’ve always thought of myself as a man who can take charge of a situation but the relationships before Patricia were difficult because I think I wanted things too much my way. My mother never complained about being told what to do by my father; at least not in my presence. I think I may have assumed too much. Women found my needs a bit overwhelming. Later, perhaps I was less demanding, but unsatisfied. I approached my thirtieth birthday unsure of how to manage the modern young woman.

When I met Patricia and she began to so naturally respond to my control over her, I found myself fast falling in love with her. I so very much wanted it to be right between us. She relied on me.

I have an amazingly close and open relationship with my father and one evening, I confided in him that Patricia, whom he adores, hungered for my control. He had noticed that already he said; the look in her eyes when I gave her an instruction apparently; the way she responded to it so effortlessly. He told me that Walter, his best friend could help me find my way as Patricia’s dominant. Walter, he said, had been with many, many women, all of whom had been submissive to him. It was Walter who suggested this blog as a way to discuss my training as a dominant man. I want to make Patricia blissfully happy. She is an exceptional woman. I am sure you will agree.

Dominance and submission

Dominance and submission (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals involving the giving by one individual to another individual of dominance over them in an erotic episode or as a lifestyle arrangement.

Physical contact is not a necessity, and it can even be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email or other messaging system. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes traversing into sadomasochism. In D/s, both parties take pleasure or erotic enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called dominants, doms (male) or dommes (female), while those who take the subordinate position are called submissives or subs (male or female). A switch is an individual who plays in either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. "Dominatrix" is a term usually reserved for a female professional dominant who dominates others for pay.

Overview

Dominance and submission, and the inner conflict and surrender connected with these are enduring themes in human culture and civilization. In human sexuality this has broadened to include mutual exploration of roles, emotions and activities which would be difficult or impossible to do without a willing partner taking an opposing role.

While D/s can deal with representations of brutality and cruelty, and the emotional responses to them, adherents are quick to point out that D/s is not about acts of brutality and cruelty. It is a consensual power exchange between the two partners and need not involve any brutality (such as corporal punishment) or cruelty (verbal or emotional abuse) at all. It is primarily based upon trust and communication between the partners. It is also based on a deep ethos of mutual respect in which exploration of the emotions brought up by power exchange can occur in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

A safe word is usually given to the submissive partner to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries. The safe word is especially important when engaging in verbal humiliation or playing 'mind-games' because the submissive may not be aware of an emotional boundary until it is crossed. If an emotional boundary is breached and the safe word called, the dominant should cease all play immediately and discuss the emotional breach with the submissive in a tender and understanding manner. Negotiating limits in advance is also an important element in a D/s relationship.

D/s may be ritualised or freeform. It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits and needs in order to find commonality. A D/s relationship may be sexual or non-sexual, long or short term, and intimate or anonymous. Most adherents search for the essential intensity, trust and intimacy that are required to make any deep relationship possible.