Disruption

Unfortunately, a series of events has made it difficult for me to write in this journal. My father had a rather nasty fall in Edinburgh and was hospitalized. My mother, unused to making decisions on her own without my father’s input felt unable to cope and I had to travel to them to make the necessary arrangements.

I arranged for the rental of a cottage close to the hospital, visited with Father in the hospital, consulted with the doctors about the necessary procedure for his hip and waited with mother until he was discharged. Fortunately, he was discharged into the care of a most efficient and kindly nurse who visited each morning to tend to him and after two weeks, both my parents assured me that all was in order and I should return home. In fact, they like the cottage so much they have decided to stay on in Edinburgh for a few months, and I anticipate a full recovery for Father.

However, this time away from the farm and at a particularly busy time of the year for the business has meant that much of my time since then has been spent catching up and sorting out problems that arose whilst I was not here.I am delighted to say that Patricia has been understanding over this period of time.

It all seems so long ago now, but we had such a wonderful night of love making that evening when she first came to the farm and I felt so tender towards her; I still do. I had expected her to be shy with me but in fact she was comfortable with her body and getting her clothes off was not at all difficult. She is a hungry little thing and that pleased me enormously. Girls so often feel the need to pretend that they are not interested in love making but Patricia had no such need to play games with me and seemed to relish all the attentions I gave her. That is not to say that she initiated anything, of course. She waited for me to direct her but once directed, she moved effortlessly to accommodate my advances.

In fact, after our love making she was lying on the bed with her legs quite apart, blissfully comfortable in the position and I admonished her gently:

“Naughty girl! You are shameless!”

She immediately blushed and closed her legs and I realized instantly that she had taken me seriously and was indeed ashamed. I reminded myself that she was still a young, inexperienced girl and I felt a little sorry for playing with her in this way.

“Oh, darling, I was only joking with you.”

She smiled coyly but remained wary of opening herself up to more criticism. I made a mental note to be a little more circumspect with her in my comments.

As circumstances would have it was almost a month before we saw one another again after that weekend, but we remained in touch by phone and email and it was clear on both sides, I think, that we both wanted to get to know one another better and that this could be the start of something special.

Since then, we have seen one another a few times for dinner dates or to see a movie, but the time away from one another has set us back a bit, I regret to say. Patricia is always polite and understanding of the demands on my time but at the same time, I worry that she seems hurt or unsure of her feelings towards me. Sometimes I fear that she seems to think that I am purposely withdrawing from her. Nothing is further from the truth.

I want to move ahead with Patricia. I am very attracted to her. She is a totally untrained girl but I think she is worth the time and effort I need to put into her. The truth is that I am already very fond of her and I need to get the relationship back on track.